Truly am exhausted right now. I had more than enough share of bad days recently more than the previous years in my life. I don't know what I did that made me deserve this but Lord, it brought the hell out of me. Is this what they call when it hurt too badly you will feel nothing at all?
I had a presentation, an important one, the first-impression kind of presentation to our Head of Department. This presentation kept me, all of us at the office, busy and stressed. The night before the presentation, I couldn't sleep well. The day before I spent with sweating and tiring myself with all sorts of activities that would keep my mind occupied, instead of worrying about the next day event.
I washed my car (okay, I brought the car to the nearest car wash), riding bike in the process until my legs spent and tired. Then I went on polishing 2 cars, took me about 4 hours to finish. As if that wasn't tiring enough, I played a great couple of badminton games. My friend went straight home, claiming she was tired while I proceeded to the gym, with nice intention to just sit nicely and just attend the gym but no, less than an hour before closing, I hit muscle-numbing shoulder super sets workout leaving my shoulder pulsing from the satisfying pump.
I was supposed to feel tired but my brain wouldn't cooperate. I was worried I wasn't prepared enough for the presentation that I decided to just browse the documents I brought home and rehearse few things with my very sleepy friend. Midnight struck, I thought I should have some rest. Unfortunately, due to my anxiety, I woke up every hour until 5.30 am when I finally woke up and started to get ready. I thought I would wear a proper feminine wear, the traditional baju kurung but belatedly I realized, if I were to be able to talk confidently, I must be at my most comfortable state so I changed my mind and went for the black and white suit. Armed with prayers, the presentation went well, very well. Thank God for Your guidance. I wouldn't be able to perform well without You. The great day at the office didn't come without a challenge. Just before lunch my daughter's class teacher sent me message telling me Nicole wasn't feeling well and needed to be brought home. Thank God my friend was kind enough to help me.
Due to lost appetite during lunch, I went home relieved but very hungry. The stress finally get the best of me, my head ached. I had to rest for a while before the evening routine, sending kid to tuition and of course, gym. I intended to burn the stress of once and for all today by hitting heavy set of back workout. Just when I thought I would start my workout, another unfortunate event happened. Misunderstanding, and yet I was too tired to argue or give in. The only thing I was able to do was just walk away. My body and mind were too tired for things like this.
Ended up I didn't workout at all. Went home and too tired to even park at my parking space, I decided to temporarily park my car in other's parking space. I left the windows opened so that when the owner come, he would know that I was in the car and could just ask me to move my car. UNFORTUNATELY, that wasn't how the story went. The owner came, I was asleep then, maybe a honk or two, then went on ravaging my car hood, scratching like mad cat. I woke up and witnessing the vandalism happened, done to my own car, right before my very eyes. I should be angry, no...I should be very very mad but I was too mad about everything that I felt nothing at all. Instead I said sorry and drove away. When finally everything came together in my mind, I drove back, the owner's car wasn't there. I realized he must be afraid that I might scratch his car back, or report him to the police, neither would I do, although honestly I had thought about it. But my feelings and anger numbed, I don't know what to feel anymore.
The only thing on my mind was to take a day off today, bring my car for a partial painting session and maybe a precious rest would be nice. I just don't know...
There you go, challenging, I guess...whatever.
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