Mr. Borneo 2020 (Bodybuilding competition)...my experience

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My 2018 Recap

It's 30th December 2018, the second final day of 2018.  Since I don't think I will have time to write tomorrow, which I habitually do every end of the year, let's just do it now, while I still have the time and a little bit of idea what to write. Spoiler alert, there may be a bit of rerun, restatement of what I had written last year, but that's just a matter of emphasizing my point.

2018 is my year of coming out of my shell. I was a very reserved, meticulous and a bit of introvert.  I couldn't stand to be in crowd, and that still valid until now.  Nevertheless, despite that, there has been an almost 180 degrees of change in me, my attitude, my appearance and my self-confidence. Well, of course, my life since mid 2015 is all about fitness, my newly unveiled passion which now at the fiery, hot blazing stage.  Every end of the year since 2015 (going into 2016) I set a fitness resolution.

2015 - A fit body with body weight to be around 45 kg.

2016 - Adding more muscle and definition, while maintaining the fit look.  Allowing additional 3 - 5 kg addition.

2017 - More volume and strength. Protein intake to be allowed to supplement my growing need. Another 5 kg of lean muscle increase was allowable.

2018 - More volume then defining, preparing to take up my personal challenge to beat my own fear and crack my covering shell, to compete and pose on the stage.  A bit of very low dose hormonal help is allowed.

Up until now, I am glad to share with you that every single fitness resolution I had set, was successfully achieved.  Thank God for allowing me to grow despite so many negative views and barriers, I know what I want and I want it so bad.  To tell you the truth, fulfilling those resolutions was not that easy, it was very hard, indeed.  It takes a heart of steel and an equally strong determination to keep my eyes on the prize.  My climax this year happened just a couple of weeks ago, where I competed in Mr. Borneo Women Physique.  I didn't even qualify into the final, but in my heart, I am already a winner.  I know where I was at, and for my less than 3 weeks prep, the body that I finally presented on stage was more than satisfying.  It was quite an experience, the most important thing was I finally able to see the strength I was capable of showing.  The dieting phase was the most horrible and the hardest for me, but I managed to get through it, successfully.  After this, I know there is nothing I can't do, if I put my whole heart and effort into it.  All this, however, was nothing without God allowing me the opportunity to compete.  Usually, BB competition held on Saturday, or Friday Eve, which is my curfew.  It was why I didn't take my preparation seriously, not minding my diet at all because the original date fell on Friday Eve.  At the last minute, the competition was postponed to a later date, 16th December and I finally had no excuse not to try this time.  So in less than 3 weeks I started and went through my prep, and the rest is history.

In my professional job, despite going through a bad phase in 2017, where our KPI was not achieved, 2018 was our team's complete turnaround.  We managed to produce almost double the KPI with the team strength only 3, the smallest team in our department.  I owe this to my dedicated team members.  We had so many other works and despite that, I kept on pushing them and of course, as normal people do, sometimes they asked me to ease our work a little as it is tiring them to be on the race nonstop, but they did it anyway. That's a blessing I am forever grateful for.  Of course, my advancement in my career halted a bit when I was offered a promotion to the next higher grade, but with the condition I couldn't bring myself to fulfill, moving to other state.  I have to turn it down for the moment.  I guess it was not my time yet.

At home, is a total different story.  It was a mixed achievement.  But if you have to ask me, I'd say I feel I failed my duty as a mom.  I really do.  I failed to be there for my kid, failed to comfort her when she needs me the most, failed to protect her, failed to prioritize her...simply put, I am not a good mom.  This is my turn off, biggest one, in 2018.  How will I make up for this, I have no idea yet.  But I am determined to not letting this happen again in 2019.  God bestowed her upon me to take care of, she is my responsibility, I will fulfill it to the fullest.  God will help me to achieve this.  This is my ultimate purpose so this will be my priority.

Other things, I can only pray that I will be the best version of me for them.  I can't make everyone happy, but as much as I can, with whatever I have, I will try my best to make this world, how little it is, a better one.

So, Happy New Year, everyone.  I pray you'll be showered with love, hope and joy.  God bless

Things I do with my friends

I have very few close friends, many good friends and more friends.  They keep me company and I almost never feel alone.  Sometimes, as half introvert (more than 50%) who prefers to stay at home and be alone, I was forced to move out of my personal space and into the crowd, a place which I still find quite intimidating.  Last raya, me and my biz partner went to Tamparuli to buy some chilli seedlings and also a couple sacks of sand for our home repairing project.  As luck had it, our futsal friends invited us to join their Raya quest at their colleague's house at Tuaran.  I am not a fan of house visit but I guess no harm in joining one this year.  At least I would be able to taste Raya delicacies after so many years missing it.

Then...on 11th July 2016, another first time in many years, I went to friendly football match between our women national team and Singapore at Likas Stadium.  There were one or two players I could recognize.  I went there with 3 friends, 2 were former national players themselves, who knew almost half of the players on the field.  It was a nice experience, but a bit disappointing maybe because we expected a greater show than what we saw.  It was less aggressive, the players showed lack of stamina, well, it sort of fell short of what I expected a national team should be.  But then again, I wouldn't know because it wasn't me in that team.  It was interesting to watch together with former national players as I could get first hand comments from those who were once there.  Interesting experience.  The final score was 2-0, a victory for Malaysia.

My sporting routine continues even though I do not update it here often.  Badminton with friends is a must for me.  My 5 years old wrist injury haunted me again but that won't stop me from playing badminton almost every other day.  That and my gym session are my daily routine.  I used to have great rackets, one of which I loved so very much, a gift from my close friend.  In just a few months I broke two of the best rackets I had, leaving me with the heavier one.  Now, I had to constantly borrow my friend's racket, hoping against hope that someday I would be able to buy those elusive, very light (only 68g) flypower racket I fell in love with.  I am currently building my strength at the gym, a little over a year and it shows satisfactory result, thank God.  Now upping the game by merging the workout to serve my two goals, to have a very toned and strong body, and to play a lot better badminton.

We will have our annual SDA Sabah sports carnival at Kota Marudu in October this year.  However, I don't think I would opt to play both futsal and badminton, that is, if I get selected again.  Futsal training is so rare this year that I wonder if the spirit to defend the title is still there.  We are focusing on badminton, but there are better, younger players out there too.  May the best one wins.

THe Cats Story

And here I am again after almost a year disappearing.  Let's start with much lighter topic, shall we?  A new adoption, kitty cat named Mutin, just a twist from our existing cat Mitun.  Female, stripey grey, cute with huge eyes and very naughty and active kitty, we welcomed her in March this year.  Original intention was  to be Mitun's partner, but then, we changed our mind, she'll be forever 'just playing partner' for Mitun, not more than that.  

She added smiles and warmth to our hearts with her naughty demeanor and soft furs and body.  Caressing her brings such a soothing effect for me.  I don't think her joining our family did Mitun harm, for now he has a friend of his own to play those kitty games without having us sabotaging his development as a real cat, whatever that means.  So, welcome to our lives, Mutin....

Then and Now: Our Cat, Uncle Mitun

Yep, we have a cat, male cat.  Adopted it in March this year, he has grown quite prosperously.  Every day encounter, living with him at home, I almost couldn't notice his change, but his heavier body and much more aggressive play made it almost impossible to overlook it.  I always love cat, much much more than dogs.  It is because they have more 'dignity' and intelligence, both IQ and EQ, for me.  Their loyalty is special, and their love doesn't come cheap.  If you are a longtime owner of cats, you will surely understand what I am saying here.

I had a cat once, an orange tabby, just like Garfield.  He was as lazy as Garfield, which was why I called him just that.  I communicated with him just like human being, didn't do much meowing, just gesture and normal human talks.  Others might say I was just imagining it, but he did understand.  Or maybe we just simply understood each other.  I assisted his birth, with his more hardworking and leaner brother in 1992.  I even kept their birthdate in my record.  I was so devoted in taking care of them, until the day I had to leave home to further my study in UiTMKK.  Every time I went back home for holiday, he was the first thing I wanted to meet, and he never disappointed me.  Bath time with him was an easy task for me, he didn't claw, just crying in cat's language, but kept still until I finished giving him a bath.  I missed him a lot, he died when I was away, in UiTM Sarawak, for my degree.  My brother took pictures of him, when he was sick and dying, but I couldn't get it printed, I was too sad or devastated to even look at him in his dying state.  Let me have only good memories of him.

Living in an apartment today, I had to shut all desire to own a cat.  But I gave up and finally allowed only 1 cat adopted, and it was when Uncle Mitun came into our family.  The challenge in training and maintaining a cat is quite different than before, but it was worth it.  The only thing that I still fail to fulfill is to get him neutered.  I wish I have the time before it is too late.  Here's him, then and now, about 4 months apart.  He was our very effective 'de-stresser' ...so to speak. 

Then: March 2015

Now: July 2015

July 2015

Working that doesn't feel like working

Only recently I understand the meaning of the statement.  I always come across an advice saying 'Find something (a job or career) that you enjoy doing, you will find that you won't have to work anymore'.  Logic is, when you totally enjoy something, you will find yourself wake up every morning without the heavy feelings most working adults feel, instead you feel motivated and energized and excited to start the new day, at your workplace, no matter what the outcome for the day is.

Thanks to my BFF, I found a place where I feel at home, a work that totally doesn't feel like one.  It's like enjoying my hobby, every day.  Taking over an already operating gym, it isn't easy, of course, all those challenges in making that happen almost cost us our friendship and faith in God, but He saw us through, and here we are, halfway to realizing our dream.

Of course, the sun isn't always shining, but that's business.  We embrace it with open hearts, and the most important thing for us is, to always be reminded that we owe all this to our Creator above.  Without His help and guidance, from the very inception, the idea, through to the execution until the actual take over and now the operation, God is always there, seeing our ups and downs.

I love sports and fitness, and this is heaven for me.  Though the place isn't exactly new and shiny, but it is sufficient and I can't be more thankful than this.  I love what this place is doing.  We have many competitors, more sophisticated ones, but we'll survive.  What we care is to provide service to people with same passion and needs like us, with cost as minimum as possible.  I would love to see their dreams come true, that would be more fulfilling than the profit itself.  I hope what we gained is enough to keep us going for a long time.  Besides, we are taking this opportunity to share with every one, our spiritual experience, the great experience, I can assure you.  Whether they care enough to just have a flip or two, I know the rest will be handled by the Holy Spirit.  

So, yes, this is it.  The work that doesn't feel like work, at all.

Twitter....finally

After years wondering what is this twitter thing about, I finally step out of my shell and opened myself a twitter account, with one very clear expectation, that the account was created just for me to try on new thing, I don't expect to have any follower, as I just want to know how it feels to have such account, and to follow others' tweets.  It's a freeminder-themed account, so you know what to expect.  Another sort of public diary for me.

Well, good luck for me then...  

www.twitter.com/BubeIky

Journey to the top (of Mount Kinabalu)

A Surprise for myself!!

It's soooo normal for everyone who finally made it to the top of Mount Kinabalu, to share, very excitedly about that.  

Hah...! What an opening. Yah, okay, move backwards, last Thursday, out of the blue, I went to join few friends from Lido Church in an expedition to conquer Mount Kinabalu.  And so, I joined. Big deal. Surprise!!!  That's the surprise, actually, the fact that I joined, and managed to get to the top.  Why, because all my life, I actually did not have any intention at all to climb the mountain.  I am satisfied with just savoring its beauty from afar.  No intention at all, so firm it almost felt like an oath to myself, never to climb it.

But then again, I went on, accepting the challenge I imposed upon myself and went on with the climb, with zero proper training (I hate jogging, and the kind). Very, very last minute preparation, I bought my necessities the very night before going off to Kundasang.  

So, all in all, the climb was not bad, not bad at all. Touched the top at about 6.35 am, 12 July 2013. The only bad thing is that I had my bouts of nausea caused by 'a kind of' gastric, on the way up to Laban Rata (last 2 km) and down from the top (the ropey section).  It was bad, but I don't think it is enough to scare me off the next time...if I ever think about challenging myself again.

All in all, it was a good expedition.  Had the chance to challenge self going through the non-routine route at the top.  Rock climbing at the steepest part.  I beat my fear of height (be it only for a moment), and that's good for me.

Okay, time to let the pictures describe what my words can't.

The beginning...Timpohon Gate

4 km done....

This is the top, right?  I guess so...

Okay, off the gloves, my fingers were frozen

Down we go......

There, I have what everybody else have

Book a badminton court in Kota Kinabalu

When the spirit is up, and the urge is extra strong to splurge the extra energy into a competitive activity, I always have badminton in mind.  I know these days are not the best time to do just that, but when the adrenaline is ready, I am ready to do whatever it takes to sweat my shirt off.

My perpetual problem is, finding a court for me and my friends to get into action.  Yesterday, I finally realized how much effort I needed to put into raking the internet to find contact numbers to book a court, any where in around KK.  The exasperation led me to compile at least a few couples of numbers you can call, in order to book a badminton court.  Really hope this will help, at anytime you need it.  Rates ranged from RM7 to RM20  (exclusive GST where applicable).  

1.   SM All Saints (Romanus) - 012-8340371 / 088-428610

2.   Beverly Hills Apartment Ph. 2 - 088-727522

3.   Blue 7 - 088-723137

4.   Country Heights Apartments - 016-8305015

5.   Cyber City Apartments 1 - 015-4817 1002

6.   Cyber City Apartments 2 - 015-4817 1006

7.   All DBKK Halls (Damai/Luyang/Bandaran/Menggatal Community Hall) - 088-521741

8.   Foo Chow Hall - 088-240028

9.   KK High School - 088-262578

10. SM La Salle - 088-224326

11. Maktab Sabah - 012-8694042

12. Taman BDC - 088-435657

13. Venitian - 088-728188
14. Regency Park, Penampang - 088-710100
15. Likas Sports Complex - 088-259466
16. Mont Elkay Clubhouse, Lok Kawi Heights - 088- 736085
17. Tun Adnan Sports Complex, Yayasan Sabah - 088-326425
18. Hongkod Koisaan Hall KDCA (Penampang) - 088-713696 / 088-713337
19. Juara Badminton Arena, Putatan - 088-769868
20. Beverly Hills Phase 5 - 088-726755
21. Beverly Hills Phase 1 - 088-713118
22. Beverly Hills Phase 3 - 088-720877

Good luck.

Another dream came true?

Remember my entry about my wish, about...long, long ago?  I wished for a violin?  Actually, for quite some time now, it had become a reality.  I bought mine, online via Mudah.my, for RM240 including delivery charge, from a seller in Labuan.  It is not a premium quality violin, but sufficient enough for a beginner like me.  

Mine and Nicole's, side by side

I picked my violin at Ferry Terminal, KK.  It felt like meeting my long awaited loved one, for the first time.  Ridiculously nervous, and very very much excited.  Upon unpacking my 'parcel', the violin, I found out later, needed a few adjustment.  I needed to buy rosin, the sale didn't include that. Had real trouble tuning it, that's a major drawback for buying inferior quality stuff.  Tuning needed to be done a few times before it stayed tuned, only for a few hours.  Another tuning broke the 1st string.  Had to buy new one but it isn't sold in a single piece, had to buy a complete set, cost me about RM80. Then I needed to do a little adjustment on the bridge, because it was quite hard to play single string without touching the other, especially the 2nd and 3rd string. Annoying to have my inability to play violin highlighted so cruelly, real pain in my ears.  Finally, an adjustment, or more accurately, a fix on the E string fine tuner as the finishing touch in preparing the violin for its service, for once and its whole lifetime.

Anyway, I guess the worst is gone, now I can play a little violin.  Enough to be able to help my Nicole to practice her violin lesson at home. Don't expect sweet soothing yet, it is far from that of Vanessa Mae's melodies. I will continue my effort and when I finally have enough gut to share, you'll have your chance to be my commentators. 

Another challenge is now history

For those of you who have known me a little well than the average others, I am sure you know that music is my passion.  Even though I may not sing or play musical instruments well, but I know enough to keep myself entertained and maybe, for once in a while, lull my heavy heart to relax and let loose.

I play, be it poorly, a little bit of piano and guitar and related musical instruments, and I play them quite often in church, but I rarely do so outside, in the open.  I have this lack of confidence issue, a bit too much that it prevents me from playing the instruments for others.  Well, last month, I decided to fight against my defective nature and face the challenge. I played acoustic guitar for my office mate, Haspa, for a number by Yuna.  A very good song, indeed.

Truth is, I don't think I succeeded in that fight, but at least I tried.  My legs still felt wobbly, and shaking, only thanks to my baju kurung, I guess it didn't show that much.  Hope the audiences didn't notice it.  Congrats to Haspa, despite forgetting a line or two, she delivered the song quite well, and in her own way, which I liked very much.

There is still a lot to learn, years to practice for me to be able to play well, but I hope, in the process, I can at least cheer up somebody, every single passing day, share what little gift God has bestowed upon me, with others.

One thing I learn from this is: Challenges can really help us grow stronger and tougher, overcoming them makes you realize how stronger you are than you think.

Finally...!!!!

The idea I had been toying, cradling, weighing for quite some times now had been transformed into a reality.  It's like the history of Avatar, which idea was conceived long before the technology needed to make it into a movie existed yet.  My case, the idea is there, before I ever have the time and platform (that was before I know the internet) to make it happen.

So, what's the big deal?  In case you haven't noticed, look to your left, this page's left.  There, my other blogs list.  Any change?  That's the big idea.  Well, another baby is born.

I am happy as any mother could be.....

P/S: Please don't get confused by the web address, I recycled the address which used to be my blog on a now ceased home biz I was involved in. Too lazy to create a new one. 

All about Facebook

I have so many things in mind I want to talk about, but let me arrange them one by one, concentrate on a topic, one at a time, or otherwise I will age much more quickly than I should be.

Recognize this logo?  I doubt there's still anyone out there who happen to 'know' even the littlest of internet to not knowing this.  

It may have cooled down a bit now, but earlier this year a rumour (more like a hoax to me) stirred quite a sizzling topic on facebook.  Will the famed social site be shut down (for good) by end of March 2011?

My personal response to this?  Honestly, I had mixed thoughts in mind.  However, the positive side overshadowed the other.  What I thought may not matter much, but when I read others response,s that makes me wonder, is there anything on this earth that has absolutely nothing to do with facebook?

It's kind of sickening (apology for the strong word used) to learn how many people live most of their days (and nights) on facebook.  Comments like "Oh no, what will I do without facebook?", or "Life will be so boring without it." or comments of different phrases and words but the same meaning, nonetheless, their lives won't be the same without facebook, more like moving into darkness kind of feeling.

Well, while I agree that facebook did a lot positive things to our lives, like bringing in people together, promote easy tracking of old friends or acquaintance or family, rocket fast sharing of information, allow more space for self expression, its existence did us some bad things too.

Lost of privacy is one.  No argument about that, eventhough one may choose to 'privatise' all his information, but then if that's the case, his facebook account won't function as effectively as it supposed to be.  Then, more than often the freedom to express self or comment on others leads to unwelcomed criticism, or maybe even argument, the negative ones, and could also lead to 'cold war' between individuals, or even friends.

While facebook may enable us to express self, it also provide means for others to know you more.  If you are not careful, your post, status whatsoever make it easier for others to know what kind of person you really are.  The one thing I am afraid will happen, it's not the good side of you others will see, but it's the other side, if you know what I mean.  I met and knew few individuals for that case.  It may not be their intention, but hey, what you say portrays what you really had in mind, and how your mind works, right?

Personally, I have nothing against facebook.  I regularly checked my wall, keep myself updated by reading others' post.  Honestly, at least twice a day I will take less than 5 minutes to browse the site, and if there's any interesting post I would like to explore, it may be extended to about 10 minutes.

To sum things up, it's a good thing Mark thought of setting up Facebook.  However, dear friends, facebook users, utilise the opportunity wisely.  There are things worth sharing, but too much sharing may irk others more than amuse or update them.

Be wise.