Been wanting to write about this, after reading so many news, incidents and complaints from parents or teachers alike. Are we being irrationally protective of our children or is there any good explanation for this?
Let me summarize what is happening to the world today, well, at least here in Malaysia. Everyday, when sending my kid to school, I will have to go through annoying traffic jam at school. Why, it is like 1 car for every 1 or 2 pupils. It wasn't like this during my time. Lines of school buses was the regular sight. Only 1 or 2 private cars parked amidst the long lines of school buses. The distance between my apartment to the school is actually not that far, it is in comfortable walking distance, still I insist on sending her to the front of her classroom, or at least to the school gate. Nicole asked once, 'Can I walk to school when I am bigger?' Well, the answer is still, 90% no.
Then, there are cases where parents lodged a police report or even sued teachers for punishing their children, regardless whose fault it was. Back to my school years, we were afraid to tell our parents that we were canned or punished at school, because we would be punished, again, or at least scolded, for the same mistake or fault. When going out, I remembered our parents only hold our hands when crossing streets. My dad, on the other hand, only guided me, no holding hands. Now, even when walking around, in shopping mall, we will hold our kids' hands, as frequently as possible, afraid of the possibility of them wandering around, get lost, or, heavens forbid, kidnapped.
That's not even mentioning about how we control our kids' food, what they can eat or can't, places where we let out children play, no playing with dirt or under the rain, drink only filtered water, no excessive climbing of trees and such, and so many more. Looking at my own childhood, I think our children nowadays are missing so many things, fun in their lives. I remember eating whatever edible food I could find, even did the outdoor cooking myself, we played with dirt, dust or even mud, under heavy rain, searching tadpoles in puddles, drinking straight from water tap (from water tank which I knew housed mosquito larvae), climbing tall trees and did our acrobatic stunts from the high branches, head down, and so many more.
Are we robbing fun and freedom from our children? I personally wish that I can allow the same fun-filled life to be enjoyed by my kid, but I am afraid it is just not possible in today's world. The world I lived then was a lot safer than now. Now, dangers and crime are everywhere. One mishap, you'll lose your loved ones. Let go of your child once in a shopping mall, someone could take the chance and kidnap your children, and do horrible things to them. Food poisoning, diseases in water and in almost everything we enjoy, touch, eat and drink, even in the air, accidents in parking place including schools and home, so many unheard of illness and diseases, all these are happening every day in our community. Life is more fragile than ever. You can't even guarantee biological parents won't hurt their own children. Have we heard of all these back then, 20 years ago? No, even if there was, it was an isolated case. Children could go out to streets, to their friends' house to gather and play together, and back home safely, without leaving their parents worried over their safety.
So, just think for yourself. Are we being too protective, or we are just surviving? We let our natural instinct to act upon changes in our world today. The nastier the world becomes, the more protective and extra cautious we'll all be.
One thing to remember, though, too much protection will leave our children helpless should someday they will have to face the world on their own. Be protective, by all means, but don't forget to nurture and teach your kids life's lesson, help them to grow and be tough and ready to someday face the grueling world on their own.
I was not allowed too much freedom to have fun when I was a kid. Perhaps, that explained why some of you guys called me 'skema'. I cannot climb trees, do acrobatic stunts..or do all those adventurous things other kids did. But then, I still have the opportunity to run and dance in the rain, fishing 'turongou' with my cousins, main masak masak, main kawin kawin and taking bus to school or even walk. It's such a good and fun years to all of our generation. It makes a good memories.
ReplyDeleteI see, now I know. Part of it maybe because you are the youngest. And the activities you were involved in, quite girlish. Being me, I prefer tougher and more adventurous games. Of course I played house and such, but I would take on masculine role, where I could play better. The memories are priceless, in fact, I am trying to put it in diary/biography for my future generations...it is priceless in its own right.
ReplyDeleteBeing youngest is one thing. But there are other reason too. They were choosy of who I mix around with. And I was a 'pak turut'. They said don't do this...tidak lah tu. Opposite to my rebellious brother. They said don't do this, that was what he will do exactly when my parents not looking. I guess, I was and still am not that an adventurous type. :(
ReplyDeleteNot adventurous doesn't mean you are losing anything. You are just being you, different from others. Bloom where you are good at.
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