All Kinds of Loves

I have taken a little unforced but unwelcomed break from writing.  It doesn't mean that I don't have any idea, in fact, I have been flooded and bombarded with lots and lots of ideas about things that I have come to realize in my life, things I think worth sharing, and things that I think should be shared.  I just don't know why every time I look at the 'New Post' page, my fingers just went numb and refused to type.

Now, against the 'numb tide', I want to share with you a 'realization' I had come to reach last night, really, really late last night, after I finally decided to take my rest from 'homework' that had taken my months away up until today.

Love, it is all about love.  In my life, I realized, I have encountered a lot, different kinds of love.  Personally, for me, those emotions, the feelings, came a lot later than most people.  Well, what I am trying to say is, a real love...I mean the very, very real love is very, very powerful.  I used to think the movies that talked about the very, very great power of love were just lingering their theory upon fantasy, just to sell sentiments or make money.  Now, I understand, such strong feelings do exist.

Pity me, please, I know, most people can easily understand that.  As much as I abhor the weird happening like 'love at first sight', the overstated power of love also received the same fate in its encounter with me.  Now, I have finally come to my senses, I have come to realize that such love, that I am experiencing now, are not for me to choose, I have no right to choose who to love and who is not, it's my heart that makes all the decisions.  My whole being, then, will only follow suit, and follow hard.

Everyone has their own interpretation of love.  For me, I have 3 kinds of love, strong enough that I am not willing (God forbid) to live my life another day without them.  I will do anything for them, even those I have never thought I would ever have the will, the strength and the gut to do.  My breath will not worth a bit without them in my life, now that my heart has chosen them, or rather, they have now become part of my heart, my life.

No one is allowed to ask me to choose between the 3.  I simply cannot choose anyone out of them.  They are all equally important to me.  Choosing any one of them is definitely an impossible feat to take.  Simply put, no reference to any priority or rank, they are all of the same rank (except my love for my God, this is not even qualified to be discussed in this entry for it is of its own special class) my family, my soulmate, and my daughter.  Have I found them?  Yes, there are all now in my life.  Want to put any one of these away?  Please do, over my dead body.  

I don't easily fall in love, nor out of love.  But once I gave up, no use to plead, I am way out of love, never to return again.  I love strongly, and loyally.  I love with my life, and my death, my faith and my whole being.  Once you get hold of my love, handle it with greatest care, you will have my life as your insurance.  But let it go, consider we have never met each other. Don't expect me to know your name.

So, all the loves of my life, I love you with my everything, with all that God has allowed me to have, be it temporarily, in this world, and beyond.

I love you.