As I attended a cousin's wedding on the 11th February 2013 in Kota Belud (BTW, congratulations, dear Tracey and husband.), my mind wandered. What actually is the very basic, the one ultimate must have element in every lasting marriage? If I were to ask you, or just anyone, I am sure there will be many, rainbows kind of answers. One thing for sure, the highest vote will go to, LOVE. Talking from experience, I can't help but agree 101% with this.
Love, doesn't necessarily the one that exist between 2 people prior to a marriage, although it's a normal occurrence these recent decades. It may also be nurtured love, post marriage kind of love, that is nurtured between two strangers, whom marriage is an arranged marriage. Hey, our grandmas and grandpas went through that, and their marriage usually lasted as long as they were.
People said, always look for someone who loves you more than you do (your love towards that person) to ensure your lifetime happiness. Logic is so that that other person will always do his/her best to care for you, for the rest of your life. This could be right, but PROVIDED that you love him/her back at least a half or a quarter his/her love. Non-existent love, is next to a guaranteed failure in marriage. Unless you managed to nurture the love during the early years of your marriage, your marriage is sure destined to be doomed. Sorry for the strong words, but that's the reality one should face. It's either your marriage, or YOU...be doomed to destruction.
One sided love needs a lot (I mean....really.... A LOOOOTTT) of efforts from one side (the loving side) to sow the seed of love in the heart of the other. Let her/him see how much he/she loves the other person, and let her/him know and feel that he/she is really appreciated and loved, unconditionally, all the time, all the way. No change at any time will be tolerated or it's the end. The catch is that the responsibility to put in most effort rests on the loving side, almost always, and not the other way around.
Well, the highlight of that wedding, for me, at least, was when the pastor said "May you wed for nothing but love, and only love." That's why the Bible said, you need faith, love and hope...but the greatest of them all is LOVE
What a 'deep' thoughts you have during a wedding ceremony of your cousin! hehehe.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking what to comment here. I spend almost my whole life...to love and try my best to be loved back..found a few different men in the process but still..I am no expert on it. It just so unexplainable.
Heart matter is the hardest to explain. It takes more than just logic,faith to really understand it, but to no clearer than feeling it. You are one of the persons I know who went through a lot and I salute you to able to survive all that. It provides valuable experience for you to move on with life, and at least...have a life you can really be thankful of, now.
ReplyDeleteMmmm...I think in my case, it's not about I was good in surviving. It's more to doing what is necessary that time when there is not many option out there. And yes...I'm thankful of the humble life I have now. But, it doesn't mean I have no worries of future. You and I know..life is so unpredictable. Changes can happen anytime.
ReplyDeleteYup, the least we can do is to prepare for the unpredictable, at anytime. Changes happen, whether we like it or not. It's up to us to decide on how to handle it, to adapt and of course, survive.
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