And the wheel keeps on turning..

Many hope and think their lives move in one straight line, that is, forward.  However, please do not forget that life is a wheel, while we focus the up and down movement, we tend to forget the other kind of movement, that is, the 'what goes around comes around' thingy, the surety that something in the past could repeat itself in the future.

This happened to me very recently.  The change of status made it possible again.  There were many factors, the major one being the one that "I can't mention", the very essence of a marriage. Hence, being in my position, surrounded by very few people that matters the most in my life, I prefer this totally, over the previous one.  It left a sizable mark that I doubt will ever go away.  I have decided and resorted to a life long decision, that this is the life that I want to live in for the rest of my life.

This decision, however, doesn't sit well with my parents.  Despite seeing me feeling content with my current life, somehow they found a way to push me to the previous life I now hate so much.  Their argument?  Not all men are the same. This doesn't mean a thing to me. Why?  I know my reason, but I just couldn't tell them to their face, it would break their hearts, but I couldn't see any other way.  Yes, my current passion is one of the things that they tried so hard to steer me away from in my early life, but I know this is the passion I was born with, surfacing only now when I finally dare to get out of my shell and really know myself for who I really am, and cherishing it as it is.  

I understand what they are trying to tell me, but please understand, I am incapable of living in such relationship status anymore.  I couldn't and I wouldn't risk my life to try again.  I finally know who I am and I am willing to accept it, flaws and all.  At least I won't harm other people in living my decision.

Point is, I once faced this relentless questioning before, now I need to go through the same phase again. *sigh. Coming from other people, I could easily break off their attempt to make my life miserable again, but my own parents, now that is a huge problem.  For now I could only try my best to change the subject every time they bring it up.  Until when, I don't know.  Let's just sit and see.

Wish me luck.