Well, well ..well. It's been a hectic week, and me losing my footing on my life of almost 10 months is not amusing, at all. It is about work, again...by the way.
My closest friend at work will definitely shake her head, disapproving my sighs here. I am trying not to complaint, and this has nothing to do with other people. It may just be because of me and my aging head @ brain, I couldn't learn fast enough for everyone's pleasure and ease. I feel like a humongous burden to everyone at work, to my bosses, my colleagues and especially my subordinates, and bosses too (important, so I have to mention twice). And honestly, I greatly regret this fact. I am getting more disorganised than ever, and my effort to grab my footing ended up in greater mess that I think a very, very long break would do me good.
Through my limited experience, my normal time to be totally familiar and be good (or at least be at acceptable level) would be at least 2 years, or maybe 3 years. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury now, and at this level, I am expected more than I really am. More than sometimes, I wish the recognition awarded to me be taken back. I may be good at my former field, income tax and such, but not here. I am still struggling, to be deadly honest about this.
I am not sure if this the right channel, but I am hoping that whoever happened to stumble on this entry, and coincidentally has something 'to do' with me at work, please, allow me time to grow, at least half the time I normally take to master.
One thing about me that one should, maybe, know...I am not a perfectionist. But, I am not the opposite. I am a negotiator (which I think more suitably put as compromiser, emphatic'ist [I made this one word up, don't bother looking it up in the dictionary]). I do crave for understanding in whatever I am doing. Whenever I couldn't (yet) grab the whole understanding of any matter or process, I will take everything shoved to me, report or anything in any format, I will take it as it is. I don't like to comment something that I couldn't perfectly understand. But, be aware, in the meantime, I am learning, be it my appearing more stupid than ever, accepting blow after blow, be a complete ignorant and totally incompetent, I am learning through my pains and bruises. Once I get the whole idea, there and then, my friend, you can count your whole life on me. Not exaggerating, just laying down the fact.
I said it all. I think my shoulders are bearing lesser weight now.
Back to work. Good night.
God bless you all, earth inhabitants. God loves you.
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