Day Off (Not a rare one)

Taking another day off.  No specific reason, I just want to spend my time with my daughter.  I know stress has overcome me lately that my attention towards her more than insufficient, that I treated her worse than a bad nanny.  I was so preoccupied with office dues, and home 'problems'.  Adding to the burden, I brought my work home (so rarely touched anyway once I reach home), so, if I wasn't doing my work, I would be so engrossed with the net and games, that I neglected her.  Finally, I guess she had had enough, one night, after several angry bouts I gave her, she washed  away her tears and told me (still sobbing), 'Nicole is not happy.  I don't want to friend Mommy.'  

Okay, that's it.  It broke my heart into thousands pieces, the way I treated her since infancy until then flashed continuously in my eyes, I cried really hard in my heart.  That very moment, I decided that this needs to change, starting from me taking my priceless day off (which is a day off in the middle of crazily busy week, no one supposed to take any leave) and spend the whole day with her, no outing whatsoever, just be with her.  She had to skip her school today, which I think she would be happy to do.  I let her do whatever she wanted, watch TV, play games, making enormous mess, eating MILO (which is what she is doing now). 

I don't want what happened on Monday night, happen again at anytime in the future.  I was broken hearted, that night, until the next day, I couldn't concentrate on my job, my close friend had to sooth me, and treated me McDonald's.  Hey buddy, I really appreciate that!!  Actually, the moment I picked her (Nicole) at school, the first thing she told me was 'I am sorry, Mommy.  Nicole is happy and I want to friend Mommy.'  Music to my ears, still I didn't forget it was ME who were supposed to say those words first.  So I said it.  What a relief. I am glad I am given the second chance, not before it is too late, when she is already grown up and had decided that I didn't give her enough attention and affection, and that she doesn't want me in her life.

So, am closing the day with a song I sing very especially to my Nicole, please forgive Mommy.  I love you very much.

UTube ...... (Sorry, I disabled the link, I couldn't imagine my humiliation if anyone in office sees the video...hehehe)